7:00 really??

I can't believe it. It is 8:00 and my kids have been asleep for an hour... I don't know what to do with myself. I CRAVE these "alone" times, but after this whole hour, I don't know what to do with myself! Mikey is trying to cut his first tooth, and Grace woke up at 4:45 this morning, NO nap, so you know how things were shaping up for the day. Do you ever have those days where you wonder why you chose to have children? It really has been a crazy day. Lots of tears from the kids, lots of laundry for mom, and lot's of "stuff" for Chad to do. After I kissed Chad as he went to class at 6:30 I let Grace play with some playdough for a little while, then I could tell she was spent, so I put her jammies on, said prayers and 5 min later she was sound asleep. I already watched my shows (thank you tivo, it only takes like 30 min to catch up) Then I shopped around online for a while, looked at EVERYONE's blogs.... and now what?? I guess I'll post. After days like today, I realize just how much I love being a mom. I honestly was going crazy all day, at my witts end... I Don't think I could count how many times I said no.. and now that the kids are asleep, I already want to go wake them up to play with me. I don't always do my best, sometimes I put Grace to bed I feel a tinge of guilt because I know I didn't do my best with her. No projects, lots of cartoons, things like that. But, I do know that every day is so awesome with her and I can't ever imagine my life without her. Every day there are amazing stories I could tell about her, here is a quick one from last night: I put out all of my hair coloring stuff, because I was planning on doing my hair in the morning, well, Grace had to go potty and she was in there forever so I thought I'd go check on her. I walked into the bathroom and my powder bleach was everywhere... I just told her to go.. get out, go find dad.... Then I heard Chad say "Go tell mom why you got into her things" So with tears in her eyes, she walks in, puts her head down and said, " I just want to be beautiful" WHAT??? Oh gosh, I dropped to the floor, put my arms around her and said "Gracie, you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen" Then she says "but my hair's not beautiful" I proceeded to tell her everything about her was so beautiful and I wouldn't ever change one thing about her. I love her so much. I hope I'm learning a little more patience every day. Little Mike is learning to crawl, he is making progress, he can at least get to a toy if it is a few feet away from him. His nurse tells me that preemies tend to be a little more fussy because their mind is more mature than their bodies, and they get frustrated when their bodies won't do the things their mind wants them to do. I have never thought of him as a "fussy" baby. But today I did. Poor guy is having the hardest time getting this silly tooth to come through. He's got the fever, the runny nose, the drools, the whole thing and I just feel so helpless. I wish I could do more than keep tylenol in his system. I've had to set him in his room twice today to just let him cry it out. That is so hard for me to do. It wasn't with Grace, but I think I still feel sorry for the things Mike has gone through so I don't like to subject him to my normal parenting methods. I'm getting better. I'm learning patience. I'm growing as a mom and a wife and I'm loving the education. I still loose it, don't get me wrong, but I know that this is what I will always want in life... right now.. what I have. My family.